Men's Mental Health
Messages About Being a Man
As men, we often get a lot of strong messages about how to be male.
"Be strong." "Suck it up." "Don't be a whiner." "Don't be a burden." "Don't be weak." "Don't show emotions."
While there is nothing wrong with strength, resilience, and perseverence, these messages can impede our willingness or ability to get help when we need it. Maintaining these ideals of masculinity can be stressful, leading many men to hide their true selves or suffer in silence. These messages also intersect with our other identities and parts of our culture, which can add adiditonal stress, particularly if we feel we can't meet those ideals.
Impact
Research shows that these experiences can adversely impact men. Physical and mental health are hindered; suicide rates among men are higher; men are less likely to report sexual abuse/assault; and men often suffer in silence, leading to substance abuse, worsening symptoms, or difficulties in relationships.
Resources
The good news is that there are many campus resources to support men's mental health and well-being. If a male-identified student would like to seek counseling, it's important to know that counseling can be useful. Mental health issues like depression and anxiety are treatable illnesses. Counseling is effective even if there are no "symptoms." Getting guidance and consultation in times of transition is helpful, and regardless of the reason for counseling, it can help you feel happier, healthier, and more productive.
About Counseling
Counseling for MSU students at CPS is free and confidential. Each year CPS sees about 2,000 students, about half of whom are men/male-identified. Common issues men discuss in therapy inclulde depression, anxiety, substance use, acadmic/career development, pornogrphy use, identity, sexuality, relationships, past sexual trauma, eating/body image issues, and really anything a student may want to gain deeper insight or support around.
Our staff is comprised of licensed mental health providers and supervised providers finishing the requirements for their degree/license. Many of us have interest, training, and expertise in working with men/male-identified students.
Counseling will begin with an intake meeting to learn more about you and what services you're looking for. From there you'll get matched up with your regular on-going counselor, and you can work collaboratively to establish your goals for counseling. Counseling can focus on pretty much anything you'd like, and you always have a say in the direction of your work.
To make a first-time appointment, you can call us at 406-994-4531 or use the online scheduling feature on our main page.
Whether it's counseling or any other resources on campus, we hope you feel comfortable getting any support you might need to be personally, professionally, and academically successful.
Seminars & Programming for Men
If your student club, team, organization, or chapter would like programming aound men's mental health or wellbeing, feel free to reach out to the CPS Outreach team to schedule a meeting. Topics include:
Mental Health, Suicide Prevention, Sexual Health, Pornography Use, Substance Use, Eating/Body Image, Male Survivors of Sexual Assault/Abuse, Stress Management; or other topics that may be of interest to your group.
Suicide
If you are in crisis or have suicidal thoughts, please call or come to CPS, 3rd Floor of the Wellness Center, or call 988 after hours. If you are worried about someone who may have suicidal thoughts, call 911 if it's an emergency, or visit MSU Assist to learn more ways to help a friend. If you're interested in getting more training around mental health issues and suicide prevention, visit our Prevention Programming Page.
Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse or Assault
Myths and Realities:
- MYTH: Men can't be victims of rape or sexual assault
- REALITY: Males are victims in about 10% of reported rapes/assaults. This number may actually be higher, because many men don't report their assaults out of shame or embarrassment. Because many assume this can't happen, the shock, fear, and isolation of male victims are often increased when it does.
- MYTH: A woman can't rape/assault a man.
- REALITY: A man can be raped or sexually assaulted by a female perpetrator. If sexual contact is initiated by a woman without the man's consent or while the man is incapacitated, this legally constitutes sexual assault. Despite common beliefs, a man doesn't always want sex and can experience unwanted sexual advances from a woman. While women can perpetrate assaults on males, other men can also be perpetrators of assault.
- MYTH: Men who rape other men are gay.
- REALITY: Rape is not a crime about sexual orientation, sexuality, or sexual attraction. It is a crime about power, domination, humiliation and control. In fact, in the majority of male-male assaults, the perpetrator identifies as heterosexual. A common scenario of male rape is that of a straight-identified man raping a male who is, or who is perceived to be, gay. Other scenarios can include hazing or initiation rituals that involve sexual degradation, gang rapes by groups of men in order to dominate/humiliate the victim, and assaults in prison, hospital, or military settings.
- MYTH: No man would let another man do that to him; he could take care of himself.
- REALITY: In most cases of male-male rape, and many cases of female-perpetrated assault, the victim is somehow incapacitated or overpowered by the rapist. Weapons and physical force are often used, or the victim is incapacitated by drugs/alcohol, or is unconscious or asleep. Regardless of size, strength, or physical condition, a man can be rendered powerless depending on the circumstances even if no weapon was used or if the victim was not physically assaulted.
Men experience many of the same effects as female victims: fear, anger, sadness, shame, embarrassment, mistrust, and symptoms associated with post-trauma. For men, there are added components of shame and embarrassment due to the myths discussed above. In addition, men who are raped often question their manhood, masculinity, and sexuality. It is important for male victims to know that the assault was not their fault, and that rape, regardless of gender, is a crime about power, control, and humiliation, not about sexual orientation or masculinity. Many don't report or seek support, which furthers their isolation and trauma.
What to Do
The same law enforcement, counseling, medical, and advocacy resources that are available for female victims are available for male victims. Despite the shame involved with male victims, it is just as important for men to utilize these resources in order to protect their physical and emotional health and work towards recovery. Male rape is more common than many people think, and the professionals working in these settings are trained and prepared to work with male victims. Friends and family can also utilize these resources in order to help the victim and get support.